is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What a dumb baby whore.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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