We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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