Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize