I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
