I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
