He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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