I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
