Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
either way he was missing a nipple.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
