worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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