had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
