my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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