Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
