32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
