guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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