Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
