If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize