im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
