Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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