Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
