she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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