So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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