i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This is my gift to your gina
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
