weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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