At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
