do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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