Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
