I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
