I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
