never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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