I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
