it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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