the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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