my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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