I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
