Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
