dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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