Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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