shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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