The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Someone shattered a urinal.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We are all done wearing pants today
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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