girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize