I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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