I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
