and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
