i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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