giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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