Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My boob is missing a layer of skin
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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