How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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