We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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