Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize