haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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