dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
