Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had sex on a dog bed..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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