She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My feet surprised me
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