how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
