I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there was a trapeze. enough said
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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