No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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