Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
