i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
