Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
