Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My room smells like vodka and shame
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
