She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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