i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
