After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
