Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
