A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is Oprah even human
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
