Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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