the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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