Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
