Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
try to milk me bitch
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
